Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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