there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
