Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
