dude i'm inner monologue high
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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