There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
