Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
