even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
