I wish I could teleport
I'm drive I can fine osifer
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
When did angry sex become our thing?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
