I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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