he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
