its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
did i walk over a car last night?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
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