I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think I sprained my soul last night
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
