Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I could make wine with my vomit
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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