can u get pink eye on your cock?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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