3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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