It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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