She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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