I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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