My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
