how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm both gender and math confused
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
