I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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