No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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