My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
