Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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