This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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