My first STD was from a foam party
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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