Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
