Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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