I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
