Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
