I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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