I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
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