You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
