Reggie can tackle my bush.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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