Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
