Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
