even my farts smell like vagina
Barsexuality is the new black.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
