just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
