u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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