He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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