We got so high we made milksteak
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
