if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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