I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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