He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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