Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
