you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
