I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think my moral compass just broke
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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