i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
a search helicopter?!
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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