I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
