How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
