Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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