What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
