Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
