The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
