lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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