My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
